obsidian-vault/People/Me.md

---
aliases:
  - I
  - Sebastian Schüler
language: English
created: 2025-07-23
summary: Notes about myself
tags:
  - domain_people
status:
---
## Self-Knowledge

### Pinned

- Weakness: Distractibility and lack of focus, susceptibility

- Weakness: Loneliness makes me look pathetic; I often write overly long messages in the group that no one else would write

- Weakness: Imbalance of two poles: Brain vs. Heart

- Strength: Intuition

- Strength: Introspection

  

#### Key Insights

- It doesn't have to implement every idea of mine immediately and perfection is fine

- My brain is always looking for an occupation or a project where I can put all my time - e.g. game development in Godot was fun. However, the "having" or "achieving" of this idea is often not as positive for my well-being as simply following the daily basics (eating well, exercising...). It's okay to program, but be careful it doesn't get out of hand.

  

## Optimal Mindset

### Weaknesses (Top 4)

- **Often overly focused on one thing mentally - leading to other tasks being neglected**

    - This can be turned into a strength if I get control over my focus. I can then utilize my short-term memory. Example: I just watched YouTube and had to eat, but I thought, okay, I'll eat now for the next video, but I was a bit annoyed that I couldn't keep watching. After I finished eating, I had completely forgotten that I was annoyed and now only have the reward and a long good feeling.

    - From this, many problems follow (hygiene, social,...) and narrow-minded views about how things work

    - Distracting activities like gaming or streaming intensify this effect

    - I can ramble too much... Concise expression is probably more desirable. Only go into detail upon request.

    - While I speak, I focus on explaining everything in detail (to show that I know something) - this is often perceived as if I think someone is dumb. I also can't concentrate on the main point and it becomes confusing

- **Highly influenced by the behavior of others - lack of self-constancy**

    - If I want to have a short chat with Kai, it can turn into a gaming session and I suddenly go to bed at 6 am. Routines are ruined and a day later is also gone

    - At work, I became more cynical and saw negative aspects after working with Tim, who always mentioned them

    - If I talk a lot with Mama without actively paying attention to what it does to me, I become depressed etc.

    - No wonder I took off as soon as I moved out of home.

    - Occasionally, I fall into an identity crisis and try to define myself by actions. I should focus on my own way

    - I try to "main" a certain archetype in games. I rarely succeed because I constantly get distracted by others and their idealized principles

    - Certain YouTube videos can instill characteristics in me.

    - Thunderstorms often completely distract me from my current situation. Very characteristic

- **Two Poles Imbalance**

    - Through the Dream Journal I found out that I have two different modes in myself. This was also once noticed in a conversation with Mikito.

    - Heart: In this mode, I am authentic. If I use this energy correctly, I can make the best friendship gifts but also fall into a deep gaming addiction. Passion needs to be controlled here. ==If I am too lazy and authentic, I sometimes become a useless, complaining idiot who doesn't really do anything==

    - Brain: In this mode, I do what I consider optimal. Unfortunately, this sometimes goes against my heart. A classic is cleaning the apartment or engaging in tedious tasks. ==If I am too cold and calculating, I become someone who is emotionally distant and appears strange==

    - I believe I should pay more attention to what activities or execution types switch me between these modes. This is a spectrum, not on/off.

  

- **Helping Syndrome:** Occasionally, others exploit me

    - Students who don't even look at the script and I give them huge essays per email to bring them back on board

    - Work: Hey, you are on-site, can you... Hey, we have no developer, can you...

- I forget what I have learned and lack an overview of all that I should/must/must do (in order not to waste time)

    - I start projects without thinking once if it is useful

    - I usually come to good conclusions (evenings) but do not write them down or organize them

  

- I often underestimate how much my mood fluctuates over the day. Typical example is that I sometimes feel like cleaning - and could do it at that moment. But then I sit down to do something else and it doesn't happen.

  

### Strengths (Top 4)

- **If I am not distracted, I have a strong intuition**

    - I know if a result/gift is good. I can assess communication well...

    - I definitely have the right profession

    - With a head start, work independently and think (can quickly internalize systems and connections)

- Strong expression of: I remember what interests me, which others do not

    - With focus on the right things, this can lead to very positive results (like a 1.0 grade)

- **I can understand my own feelings well and form the causes**

    - I have the desire to create cards myself but shy away from doing so with my mother because she might think it is childish

  

## Habits

- I should regularly check if I have an endless hobby activity that I can only do for a long time. Depending on how much time I spend on it, this can restrict me (as it has in my younger years). So far, I hold a server bot for the best "unhealthy" leisure activity.

  

## 📝 Notes

- Dream Journal

- I have found that I always stop with sports in the summer because of warm temperatures or waning performance

    - In fact, I am able to cycle in the morning after breakfast!

- I believe that I will be successful when I am emotionally and healthy stable. Earlier, I sometimes really cried in bed or went to sleep angry. Strange... Since I don't do that anymore, I have become much more productive. I should focus on what a productive person does and then do that.